White Elephant (aka Dirty Santa) Christmas Brunch

So there are only 8 more days till Christmas. You know what that means right?? There are only 7 more shopping days. I thought I was on top of it all by getting started in mid effing October, but of course I wasn’t. Of course I’m only 2/3 of the way finished with my shopping. This should prove to you that even when I prepare for something wayyyyy ahead of time I still manage to turn into a complete moron when it comes time to take action. I’m serious – I think my entire trip to the mall the other night consisted of Auntie Anne’s pretzels and whining each time I picked something up and inevitably set it back down because I HAVE SHIT FOR A CLUE WHAT ANYONE WANTS FOR THIS BSHIT HOLIDAY!

keep-calm-its-8-days-until-christmas-1

(Source)

I also really hate shopping. Like f’real. And I don’t fully understand how that whole shopping enjoyment stereotype has been glued to women’s asses for so long. Do other women really enjoy stripping in public so you can feel bad about the way your body looks in those awful dressing room lights/mirrors as you try on piles of clothing laden with make up stained collars from other bitches having already gotten there first and discarded said items, all while being shielded only by a couple “walls” and a cheap, swinging piece of wood of which the latch could come undone at any given moment, thus showing off either your scantily clad body or some half-zipped leopard print dress that (come on, who are you kidding) you hated anyway but your friend made you try it on for fun, and now because of that friend, you’re showing your junk to the whole department store dressing room. That sentence started as a question. It’s not one anymore. I hate shopping. That’s why. Facts, people. And shopping for other people is worse because they aren’t there to smack you and say “bitch, put that candle back right now! I don’t want that fugly shit in my house, don’t you know me at all??” when you select something obviously hideous but try to convince yourself that it’s a good gift because this is the ninth candle store you’ve been to and they offer gift receipts so why not? Shopping. Is. Poop.

shopping sucks

(Source)

Now that THAT’S out of the way, we can move on to more cheerful and festive chat 🙂 Although, you probably don’t want to hear it now because I was just a grumpy reindeer turd for the first two paragraphs of this post. Lucky you, you get to hear it anyway!

Sunday morning a bunch of our friends (I think 17) got together for a White Elephant (or Dirty Santa or whatever the feck else you want to call it, Kathy) brunch. We went to a delicious little place in Kirkwood (an Atlanta neighborhood) where one of Meghan and Mollie’s friends works, called Sun in My Belly. So cute and really good food.

If you don’t know what White Elephant or Dirty Santa is, it goes like this:

  1. Everyone brings a wrapped gag gift (usually under $10/15)
  2. When the festivities begin, everyone pulls a number to determine the order in which you pick your gift. In this case, Meghan made the numbers, so of course they were super cute and looked like this:20131215_140044 
  3. Then, by order, you choose a gift. The next person in order can steal a gift that’s already been opened or choose their own. The same gift can only be stolen twice.
  4. The person who chose first also gets to choose last so s/he can have an opportunity to steal, too!
  5. Everyone laughs a lot and some weird bitch takes lots of pictures of…

All the people.

20131215_135914

 20131215_141518 20131215_141525 20131215_141532 20131215_141537 20131215_141546

20131215_141603

All the presents. And you really can’t have a proper holiday party without one each of all of these:

20131215_140254

A ken doll.

20131215_140013

Or two!

20131215_141753

Rice Krispies Treats. Duh.

20131215_135942

TP. Meghan and I really wanted that one. Right now we steal rolls from restaurant bathrooms.

20131215_140135

A sweet disc shooter.

20131215_140159

Boobie ping pong balls.

20131215_140241

iWipers 🙂

20131215_140413

LIQUOR!!!!

20131215_140508

Whatever the heck all that pink stuff is.

20131215_140606

Connect Four. Need I say more? (stop rhyming, idiot!)

20131215_140704

Condoms…yeah, my boyfriend did that.

20131215_141106 

An elf hat.

20131215_141334

And this look on Meghan’s face when she opens the gift I brought (an Atlanta shot glass and cards). Such a sweet roomie.

20131215_141408

And the steals. I’ll only show you one since there are already a trillion and 1/2 pictures in this here post.

Shock.

 20131215_141143

Surrender.

20131215_141150

ALL. THE. LIQUOR.

20131215_141157

I think Mollie’s man came out on top this year.

Did any of you have a White Elephant/ Dirty Santa/ Secret Santa or other type of holiday gift exchange? (I know Mangoes and Miles had one!)

Do any of you ladies hate shopping as much as I do? I LOVE giving gifts, I just hate the process.

Does anyone have 100% of their shopping finished for Christmas? If so, you’re a bitch and I’m a jealous bitch.

– Rebekah

13 thoughts on “White Elephant (aka Dirty Santa) Christmas Brunch

  1. Shopping is such a pain in the neck! I never know what to get anybody and quite frankly, I hate the fact that part of this holiday is about gift giving. I’d rather just have a nice meal and spend time with family than worry about gifts.

  2. LOL My man always comes out on top 😉

    . . . . sorry i just had to stick that in there

    . . . . thats what she said . . . . .

    in other news, i love this post you did a great job taking pictures!!!

  3. AhaHahaha I finished shopping last week ;). I would totally have stolen that disc shooter, even if it was against the rules for me to haha. An I really wan to play this game of exchanging presents, it’s the second time I’ve seen it, and now I’m all for it and may have to convince my family to do this. And yesterday it hit me that Christmas is next week, which makes me sad since that means that it’s almost over, but excited because I can’t wait to give my fam bam their presents.

  4. that’s what gift cards are for, you dumb bitch! $20 gift cards and everyone is happy. that’s like giving cash but in a pretty card.

    i laughed when i read that you guys are jacking TP from restaurants. i used to do that in college but i was better – i used to steal not only TP but those giant (portable) lazy susans that were filled with utensils, napkins and spices. welcome to the thunderdome, bitch.

  5. I used to steal TP in college… from the school’s bathrooms. So via my tuition, I basically paid for it, right?? I absolutely detest shopping. I love finding the perfect gift for people but will only shop online. I cannot handle assholes at the mall during the rest of the year so during December, the mall is my own personal hell. I will buy my people whatever they want, as long as Amazon sells it. That ginormous rice krispie treat looks like the perfect stocking stuffer… for ME! Looks like a fun little brunch. Hope you made it out with the booze to go with Meghan’s shot glass!

  6. Meggy bear! I love her face upon receiving your gift! Also what do iWipers do? Good for walking in the rain? I’d probably wear them whilst drunk and enjoy it. I essentially love you and your scroogey-ness, you’ll get it all your shopping done!! I would write more but I’m afraid my boss will walk up behind me every minute, I never hear him coming he’s like a mouse. Anyway, LOVE YOU, I. Gru ❤ Panda

  7. I love going to white elephant parties, Glad you all had such a great time. I REALLY hate shopping during the month of December, add a toddler trying to grab at anything and everything, it’s not so great. Any other time though, I love it!

  8. I call this game “Yankee Swap”. I haven’t done one this year but my husband had one at his work and we used it as an opportunity to get rid of a few wedding presents that we didn’t need/want – like the “over the side of the tub instant spa bathtub attachment”… what??

  9. Ugh I so agree. I hate shopping. I hate taking clothes off and putting them back on, it’s such a hassle. Especially when you wear shoes with laces. And then things don’t fit and you get annoyed. And I’m always overheated for some reason in malls. And I suck at picking out gifts for people. And those are great gift choices!

  10. OMFFFFGGG I was DYINGGG reading that paragraph about the dressing room..DYYYINNGG HAHAHA! I HATE SHOPPING TOO!!! 99.999999% of the time I walk away feeling like an asshat and hating my life. Although, I HAVE to try shit on to know if I will like it..I can’t order online..CAN’T!!! So, I shop like once in a blue moon. This is strictly clothes shopping though, I LOVVEEEEE grocery shopping and shopping at places that DON’T sell clothes..like World Market..OBBBSESSED. TP and condoms…perfect gifts. Except I’m single and don’t need the damn condoms right now…fml.

  11. Oh mannnn… Angel Soft is the GOOD shit (pun intended) too!!! Sadly, that is the present I most likely would have stolen. Well, it’s a toss up between that and the Rice Krispie’s… this feels like Sophie’s Choice.
    I have never heard these parties called “Dirty Santa” before, and I like it. Anything that starts off with Dirty is sure to catch and keep my attention.
    I’ve been done with my shopping for about a week now. Nanner nanner boo boo. 🙂
    P.S. The Great and Powerful Kathy sent me. When she tells me to do something, I fucking DO IT. And I’m happy to say this has paid off. Expect many correspondences in the future.
    Oh! And I couldn’t reply to your e-mail b/c you’re a no reply blogger BUT I would love for us to ride off into the sunset together.

Speak your mind!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s